Geddy Cahoon: What John Cena Means to Me

Written by Geddy Cahoon.

Published on February 09, 2012

Hey everybody, Geddy Cahoon here with… Not your weekly Quick Wrestling News figure review. I went to take some photos for the review today and realized… My camera’s busted! Hooray! Until these issues are rectified, I will be posting a standard article here on QuickWrestlingNews every week. This week, I’m going to write about a man very near and dear to my heart… One John Cena. You all know him. He’s the Hulk Hogan of this current generation of WWE’s product. A larger than life, charismatic, Superman type character, who is consistently the central focus of WWE’s main angles and story lines. Many “smart” fans on TEH INTERNETZ and so forth dislike John Cena, claiming that he has an extremely limited repertoire and lacks true in-ring ability. They also cite staleness as a reason for their issues with him, as he hasn’t had a gimmick change in nearly a decade. These are valid criticisms, for sure. But John Cena means – And always will mean – more to me than any other wrestler in the business.

Let me lead by stating that I DO sympathize with criticisms regarding John Cena. His moveset is slightly limited, and his matches are undoubtedly aggravating in structure. They almost strictly adhere to a format known as “Babyface in peril,” wherein Cena more or less gets his ass handed to him for 10 minutes, but makes a miraculous comeback and wins clean. This can really aggravate many Smarks, as Cena typically goes over Heels, and internet fans tend to favor Heels over Faces. My favorite wrestler is Jack Swagger. He’s Cena’s personal bitch at this point. People state that guys like Dolph Ziggler can outperform Cena in the ring, but Cena always wins clean over guys like Ziggler. WWE pushes their cash cow over somebody who might deserve the spotlight a little bit more, from a technical standpoint. When looking back at Cena’s Heel run from ’03-’04, his current character becomes even more aggravating. Hardcore fans of the product yearn for a return to Cena’s Heel rapper roots, as it would freshen up what has been an 8 year run as a noble, bland superhero. I do agree that having the same exact character as the central focus of the product for 8 years is annoying. And undoubtedly stale as well. Here’s the thing though – Stale or not, I wouldn’t have the WWE any other way.

I wouldn’t be a wrestling fan if not for John Cena. As a young kid when he began his rise to prominence around 2004, he was the SOLE reason I became interested in the product. He was awesome! He said funny things, he beat up bad guys, he had a cool look. Everything about him appealed to me. I was as big a Cena fan as one could possibly be. I, no joke, CRIED when he got drafted to Monday Night RAW, because I wasn’t allowed to stay up ’til 11 and thus wouldn’t be able to see my hero on TV anymore. My dad is a wrestling fan, and he introduced me to the product. But I wouldn’t be as devoted to it as I am now if it wasn’t for John Cena. Around 2007 or 8, I just kind of… Stopped watching wrestling. I was aware of it, sure. But I didn’t actively watch on TV anymore or anything like that. Cena became a faded memory. Until the Summer of 2010. I got back into wrestling, and I became the fan you now read today. Of course, being older, I began reading up on news sites and things like that, and effectively became a “Smark.” I root for the guys who are better technically and all that jazz. My top five wrestlers are Swagger, Miz, Punk, Rhodes, and McIntyre. I really am one of those jaded fans who complains about the logic of WWE constantly, but still watches week after week. Despite all this negativity, the little kid in me still loves John Cena with all his heart. Nothing is going to change that. No matter how many people on message boards make fun of him, no matter how many young stars he goes over. Cena is, and always will be, my favorite wrestler of all time.

In response to Cena’s critics, let me say this. The man is money. You can’t expect WWE to turn him Heel or repackage him when he clicks so well with a very large portion of the fan base in children. It’s not logical. Also, many Smarks have this… Aversion, to liking things that are popular among the majority of fans. I’ve heard that Cena himself was an Internet darling before he struck it big. Then he got popular and lost his favor. Now he’s LOATHED by these people. His matches and repertoire? Sure, his TV matches are usually pretty corny. But throw him in the ring with someone skilled and give him time. He’ll put on a hell of a show, AND show you why he’s WWE’s top dog. His match with CM Punk at MiTB is considered THE match of 2011. A match with the hated John Cena! Match of the Year! As for him going over more “deserving” young stars, let’s look at it this way… John Cena can go in the ring when it’s important, cut a solid promo, and generates TONS of revenue for WWE outside the ring. A guy like Dolph Ziggler? He can wrestle. That’s not all it takes! In this business, you need to talk, have a face, and be able to wrestle! These guys the internet loves can’t always do all that! That’s why Cena deserves to be in the spot he’s in! And the man does a ton of charity work. He’s granted the most wishes EVER. That’s goddamn insane. Insane and awesome and sweet. These sick kids can have ONE thing. And their one thing is meeting John Cena. I can’t FATHOM hating him. I was actually inspired to write this article due to the video package they’ve been showing on RAW and SmackDown for Cena. The one with “Voices,” the WrestleMania theme. Every time I see that, it shakes any doubts I have about Cena. And there are doubts. There are times when I wish he’d go away for a while, or change. But then I see that. I see him granting wishes, and the crowd cheering. I start to tear up, and I realize I wouldn’t want it any other way. At WrestleMania, I’ll be rooting for Cena. I’ll probably mark out, maybe even shed a tear when he wins. I’m a member of the Cenation, damn it! And I truly wouldn’t have it any other way.

Email – hahahahawhy@yahoo.com
Facebook – NoDQ Geddy Cahoon

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  1. Geddy Cahoon: Addressing Cena's "Haters" | Quick Wrestling News
  2. The Cahoon Run Down: Addressing Cena’s “Haters” | PWMania

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